The wind blows through my hair as I hide behind the wall facing an empty land. Tears start to trickle down my cheeks as my heart ceases to thump hard. Scenes flash in front of eyes..my children, my husband. They have denounced me thanks to a silly misunderstanding..Half of my body screams to run away and the other half drags me back to forget and get back.Which half of me wins in the next few minutes will decide my course of life thereafter...
I decide that I have had enough. I want to move on. I dont think motherhood or marriage has helped me identify my purpsoe of life. I sob like a child as i fall to my knees and burry my head between my knees. The sacrificies that I have made flashes in front of my eyes as my tear reserves dry up and I set my eyes on the setting sun...
The sacrifice of a girl, the sacrrifice of a newly wed wife, the scarifice of a mother, the scarifice of a daughter, the sacrifice of a daughter-in-law, the sacrifice as an employer. The thankless world and all the people in it who are just eager to see you in pain. The voyeristic pleasure they get at seeing you live a miserable life. Did I gain something by doing this other than the wrinkles of age?
I am done...I choose to leave...I choose to travel far from home.
A dagger strikes my heart as I realise that my children will grow to hate me...The pain is unbearable and I shriek...a dog settles down beside me and whines...I realise how vulnerable i am...I realise that I feel like a child...a lost child...I cry out to my God to accept me back as happily as he could.
A strange sense of calm surges through my being as I rise to my feet. I take a few deep breaths before I take the maiden steps into my new life!
I feel myself falling down into an abyss...
I wake up with a start, panting and realise that I am lying down next to my beautiful child and husband..I utter a sentence of gratitude to the God's above and lie back on my pillow turning towards my daughter pulling her closer to me...
Damn you oh elf of bad dreams....Shoo shoo..!!!
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